Category Archives: Pseudonyms’ Posts

Posts written solely by me (Pseudonym). Who would have guessed it, ayy?

Aiming for Instabilty

So I study Psychology and have been thinking about mental illness quite a lot recently (Interesting subject, very interesting topic). When I consider subjects I often think about the different terminology within them and analyse things I find interesting. I like your approach. 

Recently, I’ve been thinking about the term ‘mental instability’ and it’s opposite. Although most people would define it as ‘mental illness’ if you think about it there’s a lot more to it then that.

 

Firstly, it carries a lot less serious connotations than ‘illness’. You can be ‘instable’ without being ‘ill’. But can you be ‘ill’ without being ‘instable’? I think probably you can.

 

‘Stability’ is linked to lack of change and staying in one place. Isn’t that kind of a bad thing? Surely you can be ‘stably ill’ with no chance of recovery? Whilst if you’re ill and unstable, whilst this means you could make a change for the worse, you could also improve?

 

Also, isn’t change what helps us grow and improve as people? Because how can we move forwards without moving at all? (Only on escalators, floor escalators (apparently named moving walkways) and they aren’t even relevant).

 

So those people who smugly look down on the majority of the hair pulling masses because they’re ‘stable’ better start looking up in my opinion.  Obviously, we all have things to learn from each other, but those of us who are instable are surely more open to learning? Because we’re forever rocking backwards and forwards, round and round, questioning the ground beneath us. Questioning the things that hold us down. 

 

And, in my view, it’s the unstable that are funnier to be around, because they’re always changing and adapting to new situations. You never know what to expect when you’re talking to a nutter. 

 

That last line was purely for effect by the way, but also to show how easy it is to label. And how easily it roles off the tongue. 

 

So I’m going to make a decision, I’m going to decide to label myself before others can, and I’m going to be stably unstable. Because I have no idea how I want be, or what I will become, but I know I don’t ever want to be finished changing. I never want to be held down by the confines of my own personality and what people expect of me. I cant seem to find a suitable way to fully express the fact that I agree with you. 

 

Stably Unstable. 

 

It’s the way to live (Amen! (to show celebration rather than relate to religion)). Accepting that I get upset, and I don’t always know why. That I feel happy, when it would be more socially acceptable not to be. And accepting that it’s all part of me, and that sometimes unpredictability can be good.

 

 

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New Years Resolution

Just note to Anonymous first: I kept imagining that beeping sound from the takeaway was going to happen on my walk home. (ahah, hell yeah, can imagine that was freaaakkkyl) Was convincing myself a minialienspyship was following me around occasionally reporting hidden messages to it’s home planet trillions of light years away. (I completely agree with that theory and think we should right a detailed paper on the matter. )

Also, WordPress is now a shortcut for me, right next to Tetris 🙂 (of course! quality shortcutting my friend)

This will go in ‘Random Rantings of a Speck-filed mind’ if you know how to put it there. (somehow completed it!)

 

 

 

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION

 

10

Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away I stopped giving a shit what other people thought and decided to talk in my own way. (its a great way) As you may have guessed, I’m not actually referring to some alternate version of reality here. I’m talking about the here and now. About me.

9

My language will be that of truth. I’ll say what I want to say when I want to say it. For example that happily ever garbage I just spouted. I said that because I felt like it and I personally found it funny. (it was) Freeing too; speaking your mind.(Amen sister) Though in a way I guess not, because I’m trying too to be ‘myself’ that I’ve just created my own chains.

8

I can talk in everyday code when I want to. I know to say “fine, you?” when I really mean “terrible but you don’t care and I don’t want you to”.  I know to nod graciously when I receive the same reply. (Social routines, gotta love ’em)

“Excuse me” is not-so-secretly “get out of my way”.

“Thanks, I love it” actually means “Thank god, you remembered the receipt this time.”

7

But we don’t say that. Because we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Even if this is the tenth useless thingy-ma-bob that sticks to the fridge they’ve bought you. Even if the world is all black-and-blue from trying to apologise it refuses to stop. 

6

That’s what sets us apart from the animals; the lengths we go to lying to ourselves that sugar coating makes life better. When we all know it rots your teeth and makes you sick from the inside out. We get angry when people lie to us but we do it everyday in our head and our hearts. So I’ve made the informed decision to stop. I saw what we’d become and realised it was a joke. 

5

So I’m going to start treating life in the way it deserves to be treated.

 

“Again I must remind you that:

A dog’s a dog, a cats a cat.”

T.S. Elliot, The Ad-Dressing of Cats

(good times, good book)

 

4

So I’m going to start having fun, treat it how it be, yaknow?

I might even make a glossary, all the everyday lies I notice. All the things that just mean another. Obviously I’m not going to call people up on this. It’s bollocks, but society needs it to function. 

 

3

I’m just gonna enjoy stepping out of it for a while and taking a look at things. Behind a glass shield, hidden from the rest. Understanding the barrier between us.

Doubt it’ll take me long to fall back into the monotonous pattern of stepping on my own toes to get out of others way.

2

I’ll see if I can send a report from the other side, adios amigos. 

Be back soon, no doubt.

Wish me luck? (the best luck of all luck)

1

 (Loving the New Years Resolution, and number theme.)

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